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Friday October 15, 2004: Intense Healing: Part Two

          Start the completion/healing process by thinking up a situation that triggers off a strong emotional response.  Then drop the story behind the emotion and focus entirely on what you're feeling: anger at being treated badly; the hurt of being lonely; the grief of an ending; the fear of not being good enough. Let yourself feel that emotion completely with each out-breath. On each in-breath, refocus on the feeling existing in the here and now. Don't be surprised if the emotion shifts from one feeling to another.

           Only go back to the story/situation that creates these emotions when the emotion you are feeling weakens in strength. Going back to the story may re-energize the feeling initially (return to the feeling-completion), but eventually you should notice the memory of that situation has lost its power to upset you.

           We cling to the past, rather than releasing it, because of a tendency to believe that we will drown in negative emotions. These emotions do not have that power -- we fear feeling fear and that gives these fears unreasonable power over our lives. You really are stronger than your emotions.  Even my most intensely held fears, which took months of regular work, could eventually be dissolved.

          I should put in here -- this is an on-going project for me. I currently tend to throw myself into life, looking for emotional imbalances that need to be addressed. The longer I work at this process of completing emotions, the harder it is for life to throw me out-of-sorts. It's rather like going for a massage and having pressure put against a painful trigger point until it finally releases the tension: not a pleasant experience but worth the final release. The point is not to become detached -- to never feel emotions -- but to allow healthy emotions to flow freely, easily and in a socially healthy manner.

          For heaven's sake, start out easy.  Remember my spider dream (see September 24th ) and don't start off by tackling the queen mother of all your fears.

The basic rules:

It's okay to feel what you are feeling. (keep giving yourself permission to feel what's really there)

Whatever you feel is real and valid because it is what you are feeling. (It does not have to be based on outer reality.)

You need to accept and love either the emotions themselves or the little child who felt those emotions. (don't hold it away from you)

You don't have to act on feelings, only accept them. (your adult side can nurture and protect the child so it is safe to share instead of defend the pain and anger)

You have to trust that no matter how deep, ugly, or constant an emotion seems, eventually it will empty out and return you to the safety of your inner self. (there may be years of feelings blocked up inside. It takes time to empty them out.)

Be honest with your emotional response, not your intellectual acceptance of the statements (what feeling comes up in your heart?)

Some things that helped me through the roughest periods.......

Don't try to heal or force acceptance of the statement. Just acknowledge some times were or are really hard to get through. Some things no person should have to go through. You wanted something different in your life. Give credit that you survived in spite of it all. You can reclaim your life now.

You'll think up your own approaches as you go along.

Posted on Friday, October 15, 2004 at 04:58AM by Registered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic | CommentsPost a Comment

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