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Thursday November 25, 2004: Morning meditation: Part Two

   

           I come in this morning meditation to the divine, with the specific focus of giving thanks, of letting my heart sing with love for its wonder and being. When I was younger this was always my manner of prayer; I did not come to God to ask for favors, but to offer my gratitude and appreciation.

         My prayers have changed over the years. In those early days I came always in strength, focused how much I appreciated the blessings, the riches of creation; how deeply I loved the divine.  Looking back, I see several flaws: first, I was focused on letting God know how much appreciation and love I had; and second, I tended to bring only the best of myself.

         Today, I am willing to stand with all my flaws, unafraid of what may be judged worthy or unworthy. I no longer need a response of recognition or acceptance. To hold up my arms like a small child asking for its parent's love, to hope in the back of my mind that my love would reach the divine and be accepted, to want recognition that I have brought the right attitude as a gift -- surely that detracts part of my attention from the love I want to give.  It is the giving that is my reward.

         How long has it been since I have felt this bliss? Forget the powerful and passionate bliss of higher states, of having divine love and power surging through one's body.  Yes, I have experienced that many times, been so lost in the glory of divine bliss that time stopped. Today I am wrapped in a soft, sweet bliss -- a joy that satisfies to the core of my being. Could there be any better way than this to spend eternity?   

        It is perhaps selfish, wanting to spend eternity with no focus except the divine. When I come out of meditation, I end up smiling at my weakness, knowing full well the need to serve divine will within its worlds.  Yes, I will return to being a practical mystic and I will put aside the pleasure of brief escapes such as this.

         Devotion is not just the opening of one's heart, but the responsibility.  How does one serve without letting ego get in the way? Think of the religious groups who claim they alone are serving God's will and doing God's work. Perhaps that was the initial intention, but how often do I watch their actions end up being little more than a defense of their own belief system?

          An all-powerful, all-inclusive deity does not need humans to defend its honor or its wishes. I have fallen into that trap in a previous lifetime -- trying to be the protector of a deity or a deity's honor, rather than be a true and humble servant. How does one best serve the divine?  I have no final answer. Perhaps there is no final answer.

        For now, I keep an open heart and open eyes, trying to see and understand reality as it truly is, without imposing personal and cultural interpretations. For now, I can love the divine with every fiber of my being, accept the divine's love for me, and find new ways to radiate that love into the world.  I can be blissfully thankful, just for the chance to do that.      

Posted on Thursday, November 25, 2004 at 07:08AM by Registered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic | Comments1 Comment

Reader Comments (1)

you've hit on something that has been on my mind a lot lately. Groups claim to be the sole God-servers but end up existing solely for their own defense. In fact, that kind of separatist mindset couldn't be further from the will of God. You are right when you notice that it causes us to see "others" as enemies of God. People from whom God must be protected. So we make ourselves God and God becomes our child.
Christians begin to believe that the gospel Of Jesus Christ can't possibly survive a post-modern culture or even a politically liberal president. I observe this same mindset among other religions and faiths, but I'd better only pick on my own. :-)
I can't imagine serving a God that needs MY protection. He would surely be in sad shape.
December 1, 2004 | Unregistered Commenterrod

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