The Skeptical Mystic

            Some people chant Om , drawing out the sound of each letter as two separate parts of the chant. Some chant Aum as three separate sounds. V.G. wants us to think of chanting as having five parts: we should be aware of the A (like ah), which slides into the U (long o), which slides into the M (mmm); followed by an exhale. Those are the first four parts.

            After the exhale, before the next inhalation, there is an empty space. This is what V.G. wants to draw to our attention. It is in that space that time and space and thought stand still. This is an opening into higher states of awareness. V.G. has often talked about finding that point of awareness within our everyday reality. It is that moment just before one drifts off to sleep, when thoughts have grown still but you haven't yet drifted into sleep; that is an opening to awareness of the divine.

           Today V.G. emphasizes again the need to notice this quiet and stillness; the need to be fully aware of what exists in this emptiness. We are to do another meditation, focused on this fifth element of the mantra. The verbal chant begins and ends quickly, as everyone drifts into silence.

            When we come out of meditation, V.G. looks around the room, occasionally asking what people have noticed.  I am startled when he asks me, and give only half an answer. I tell him that the Aum continued into the silence. What I did not tell him was that the word fell away, the sound fell away, and that the Aum which remained was the source of existence, the source of being, the vibration of the divine. To rest here --- in the awareness of this vibration -- creates a deep state of bliss: a comfort and contentment of being home, of being complete, of being inseparable.

           How could one share this sense of unity with the divine or the vibration of its essence? The words have become a cliché. How many times have I merged, blended, dissolved into the foundation of reality? As I sit after this meditation, I wonder if it is selfish to so enjoy this state, when so many other beings wander lost. Hmmm....I'm beginning to sound more like a Buddhist.  I think perhaps the Hindu would find value in reconnecting with that source, in purifying oneself so that one might better serve the divine. Hmmm.. now I am back to the issue of the first meditation; for now I find it more interesting to explore a different thought.