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Thursday September 16, 2004: Indian deities part two

Be sure you've read September 15: Intro to Mystic Experiences before continuing....


               .....I hated never knowing what would happen in meditations, especially once gods and goddesses started to appear.  There was always the question of why in the world this had to happen to me.  Why Indian deities?  Why couldn't they just pick on some faithful yogi that had been mediating for thirty years?  He or she had probably been waiting with total devotion for the smallest glimpse.  I kept trying to reach awareness levels far removed from images of gods and goddesses.  I would find peace or even bliss, then bam!  Some deity would appear and drag me into another adventure or another level of consciousness.....

            .....It was Kali who suddenly decided to remove some of my karma.  I'd been in meditation, standing before Shiva, gazing into his eyes and being filled with rapture.  Kali had appeared by his side.

            Shiva and Kali were different in so many ways.  Shiva radiated peace, contentment, fulfillment. To look into Shiva's eyes was to dissolve, to expand into the universe, to be part of that which contained the universe, to be lost in the wonder of being.  Kali was not like that.  Kali was passion, intense energy.  I never knew what to expect--only that she was always in motion.

            Kali grabbed me and held me up to her face.  Her eyes blazed.  I was not afraid of Kali; she held the power to destroy illusion, attachment, material desires.  Kali could bring me closer to the divine.  Still, to see the intensity in her eyes was unnerving.  It was like staring into the brilliance of the sun, watching the awesome power of destruction and creation as molecules were being transformed.

            My eyes locked on her pointed teeth.  Kali was usually shown in pictures with a necklace of human skulls around her neck and blood dripping off her tongue.  Yet, as she stood before me now, she wore no skulls.  Nor was there blood dripping off her tongue. Later I would learn the blood and skulls were symbolic; they were not directly connected to Kali's appearance. For now I could only stare at her razor sharp teeth, forgetting to breathe........ (sorry, but I'm leaving out a big section here)

       ........How in the world does one clean karma? [later, when I thought back to the experience, I remembered tales of gurus removing a student's karma, but that's not what Kali said she was doing.]  I wondered if I could find a definition somewhere for karmic cleaning.

            I should not have wasted time wondering.  Soon after the inner experience, I began to see the effect of Kali's work on my outer life.  My balance--my precious spiritual balance-- disappeared.  No more calm acceptance of the duality of life.  No more dwelling in spiritual realities or seeing the everyday world as simply a testing ground for higher awareness.  I was dropped back into the emotional ups and downs of life.  And there were a lot of downs.  Lord, there were a lot of downs.

            The belief in my marriage floundered.  The problems that I'd previously approached with simple concern and detachment now left me deeply and painfully wounded.  My attitudes and opinions failed me, and I could not understand why.  Every technique I had ever used to maintain emotional balance now seemed to fail me.  I clutched at the spiritual structure that had always provided balance and harmony only to find empty words.  Gone was the belief system that made sense of life and allowed me to determine the direction of my future.  I had no idea where to start piecing my life back together.  I only knew it hurt like hell.... 

Posted on Thursday, September 16, 2004 at 05:12AM by Registered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic | Comments5 Comments

Reader Comments (5)

Here's a thought: -
The physical universe has evolved over billions of years. Likewise life has evolved over billions of years. Some mystics claim that there is a "universal field of consciousness' Perhaps conscious beings have evolved within this field in an analogous way to the evolution of life.

If this is so, how did the Gods arise?

I suppose Hinduism, for example, is about 3000 years old. Could the combined effects of all those people with a high spiritual awareness have shaped this field? Are these 'Gods' independent entities, or are they malleable in that their natures can be influenced by mankind?
September 16, 2004 | Unregistered Commentermike brown
Good question.
Group consciousness can defintiely build up an energy force. The Hindu Brahmins used to consider it part of their duty to project their chants every morning over the countryside. They believed it would protect the country. I'm willing to believe you can add to positive or negative energy fields and that those fields can influence the people moving through the fields. Could a group create a separate entity within the higher worlds?
I used to wonder about primitate beliefs in, say, rock gods. If people focused group attention on a single object, over a long enough period of time, could they have created a rock consciouness that might begin acting independently? I don't mean the rock would come alive, but question if there might eventually be enough concentrated force to take on a form that the priests could see and interact with. That seemed just as plausible as to say the tribe's holy man discovered an entity residing within or near the rock.
That would get back to the issue of whether we create gods or they create us. Can they influence our lives or can we influence their existence? I do take the radical approach that as mankind evolves, the gods and the divine also evolve. If we could someday become god-like, the gods would have evolved to a position equally high above us. We'd never catch up with them.
September 16, 2004 | Unregistered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic
There are theories around that consciousness is a component of all matter -- in this area, Emanuel Ranford, a Frenchman, comes to mind.

Just as a mere 70 Kg of matter can form an amazing life-form like mankind, I suppose complex assemblies of consciousness could produce conscious states, both higher and lower, that we simply cannot imagine.
September 17, 2004 | Unregistered Commentermike brown
I thought I had better check the Frenchman's name. It is in fact Emmanuel Ransford.

To find examples his thinking, do a Google search using: -
+" Emmanuel Ransford" consciousness


September 17, 2004 | Unregistered Commentermike brown
Very interesting attempt to move this into a scientific definition. I still believe, based on my inner experiences, that awareness acts through the brain but is separate.
September 18, 2004 | Registered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic

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