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Monday September 27, 2004: Dreaming into Reality

            As with other visions, dreams can sometimes be hard to define. While in my early mystic phase, I had three dreams within a week about different family members dying. I had spent the previous year working in Colorado and had just applied to reenter college as an in-state resident. I had interviewed for a job and checked out a few apartments in Fort Collins, and was awaiting word about final decisions.  Suddenly all that changed.

           The dreams seemed neither lucid nor prophetic (which often have a different feel to them), yet the intensity of the three dreams left a deep impression. The fact that they involved family was so disconcerting that I packed up everything I owned and drove back to Michigan. I arrived home just a few days before my sister developed her first major blood clot. I was there to drive her to doctors, to watch over her while my parents were at work, and to help out when my sister was admitted to the hospital.

             I did not think of the three family dreams again for some time, convinced their only purpose was to bring me home from Colorado when help was most needed. My sister recovered and was married, events that bore little resemblance to any of the death dreams (though she did go through a scary moment when the clot moved to her lung). Still, she was not one of the dying relatives in my dreams. I counted it as a miss.

               Despite having seen my paternal uncle's death, it was his wife who diagnosed with breast cancer some time after the wedding.  My uncle had always had health problems and needed care, but it was my aunt who was to die early, while my uncle continued on for many years. Another miss.

             The only dream that seemed to hit home was about my grandmother, and even those details were far from an exact match.  That particular dream placed me at a wedding, standing in the reception line. Alberta, my grandmother, was always a high energy person, a business woman who'd traveled the world and kept us all on our toes. At the reception, she'd begun coughing, moving off into a corner so she would not draw attention away from the wedding party. I looked over, watching her as she lowered her handkerchief, seeing the look of horror on her face as she stared at bloodstains. She looked up, quickly crumpling the handkerchief.  Realizing I'd seen the bloodstains, she recovered her composure and moved to my side. Alberta lowered her voice, insisting I not tell anyone. She didn't want to spoil the wedding celebration. I agreed to her request, but yet at that moment I realized that she was seriously sick and the problem was not something that would go away.

        It was some time after returning to Michigan before I found my old dream diary. It was a little harder to dismiss this as a miss.  Six months after I had written the entry, Alberta had been forced to leave a cousin's wedding early because her leg bothered her so much.  She'd been upset that any attention had to be focused on her problem, afraid that it was taking attention away from the bride and groom.  Embarrassed and upset that her brother had to leave the wedding celebration to take her home, she called her doctor the next day, only to be told (after he checked it out) that there was nothing seriously wrong with her. It would be months before the diagnosis would be made of cancer, and by then her body was found to be riddled with metastases.  

After the Fact: Not a single one of the three dreams matched reality as a precognition dream, and--being ultra-skeptical--one always has to consider sheer coincidence, the possibility of three random dreams. It could have been my own inner fears that made me assume the family was in trouble.

         On the other hand, I have not dreamed of death before or after this, and the three dreams occurred within a period of less than a week. I had no reason to believe any member of the family might become sick. At the time of the dreams, everyone in my extended family was believed to be in remarkably good health. There was no mention of sickness in any of my friends' families (which might have stirred up my own concerns).

           The dreams could have resulted from a subconscious desire to avoid returning to college, though before this sudden appearance of dreams, I'd worked damn hard to establish in-state residency. Leaving Colorado created a great knot in the pit of my stomach, a sense of homesickness, as if I might never see Colorado again. Yet I knew my application had been accepted, and everything was in place; I was determined to be back in Colorado with the beginning of winter quarter.

              Even after my sister's blood clot, I had every confidence I would be returning west.  The news of my grandmother came two weeks before I would have left for Colorado, and I quickly rearranged with the university to reschedule admission for spring quarter.  When Alberta's illness dragged on, I let go of the college opening. By not attending spring quarter I lost in-state residency for Colorado, and had to become resigned to building a life in Michigan, instead.

                Life is what happens to you, in spite of all the careful planning.  I'll never regret staying in Michigan to be near my grandmother in her final days. Things happened in higher dimensions, and I can never be sure they would have occurred if I had been out-of-state.  To be continued....

Posted on Monday, September 27, 2004 at 05:03AM by Registered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic | CommentsPost a Comment

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