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Sunday October 1, 2006: See the Face of God: part three (Tara and the third eye)

          TIme to get back to exposing my private journey.  I'd made the decision to see the Face of God, but had no idea where to start.  For all of one summer, I delighted in Buddhist meditations.  Each meditation seemed special and unique, with its own lesson or discipline. Not all of them involved Tara , but my favorite ones were with her.  Tara was different from Kali and Sekhmet.

         The warrior goddesses each had a softness that covered steel-hard layers beneath. There was always the feeling that -- should I be foolish enough to lash out at Kali or Sekhmet -- I would be the one injured while they sympathetically shook their heads at my painful lesson.

          Tara , in contrast, was immensely powerful but with endless compas­sion.  Were I to lash out at Tara, there was a feeling that she would absorb it all, emptying the negativity from me.  I would never be hurt, even by my own stupidity or imbalance, for Tara 's compassion ex­tended without limits.  This was the other side of feminine strength, the compassion and endurance that survived all trials and still gave self­lessly.

          For the most part, as with Kali and Sekhmet, I chose not to study books about Tara too closely.  I didn't want to be influenced by other people's expectations.  Instead I chose to wait until something oc­curred and then seek out explanations.

         I did know that Tara was represented in many forms.  Western religions may have a problem with different forms. To be truthful, the pantheism of the Hindu’s had confused me at first.  Not the idea that the Divine was without limits and all encompassing. That was acceptable to my past understanding.  But it took a while to understand the rest.

        Pantheism acknowledged man's inability to perceive the Divine in Its totality.  In the human state of consciousness it was easier to worship some aspect of the Divine, such as love and compassion, represented in a particular form.  This allowed the seeker to focus his/her love and devotion.  That was true even of Christianity.  Pantheism just extended the number of forms, each with specific qualities.

          Tara in her multiple forms provided seekers with a focal point for specific needs.  People went to Tara in her white form for longevity and health, to Tara in her green form to remove obstacles.  Tara in her red form represented spiritual liberation and purity of speech.  Black Tara represented emptiness, the removal of ignorance and illusion, and the pre-dawn of enlightenment.

         I assumed these colors helped alter the seeker's awareness in subtle ways that fine-tuned their connection to an inner aspect. I was surprised to find Tara herself changed colors in the middle of some meditations. In retrospect, the lessons changed as her color changed, but it would still surprise me.

         One night of meditation the teacher told us to meditate on the form of the Buddha.  We needed to become like this form, to feel ourselves in the pose of the Buddha, to feel the peace and harmony of the Buddha.  Does that identification seem egotistical?  I wondered if it was meant to help us identify with that part of us made in the image of God.

         I enter deep into meditation:  I visualize the way White Tara sits in the poster.  I place that image before me so I can imitate her pose. I try to imitate the look and feel of serene contentment and peace and unity.  She floats, still in the same pose, to a spot behind me. Then I feel her form slide forward until the awareness of her body overlaps my own body.  How different it feels.  There is a textural difference beyond what I can analyze and describe.  Peace and joy fill a cellular area, far more complex than what I had felt in my own meditations.  I feel her smile within me.  It is a total body consciousness of her smile.

         The poster image shows Tara with her physical eyes resting closed.  She has five additional eyes, two on the soles of her feet, two on the palms of her hands, and one in the middle of her forehead.  These spiritual eyes are open.

         I try now to understand and feel the eyes on the soles of my feet.  I have never thought of feet and hands as having eyes before.  I focus for some time, until I can feel them open.  It is a strange sensation.  A channel is opening up through the inside length of each leg.  Something pours through this channel -- a subtle form of percep­tion too foreign to identify.  I am just aware that it is happen­ing.

          I focus on the eyes in the palms of my hands.  They open slowly.  Again I feel a channel, a hollow tunnel running now from each eye up the arms.  Combining this awareness with my 'foot-eyes' is a struggle. It is a splitting of awareness and an expansion of body awareness that pushes my capacity to comprehend both together.  I am marginally successful.

          I relax this awareness to focus on opening the third eye. This part should be easy.  As much as I have not attempted this exercise for several years, it has always been relatively easy.  Gently, I open the eyelid. Well, I try.  It doesn't open.  I strain to force it open.  It might as well be glued shut.  I try again.  And again. It stays glued shut.  I pause, confused, then make one huge effort to open the eyelid.  Is the effort visible on my face?  Do others see my nose wrinkled, my forehead furrowed, and my teeth clenched?  No luck.  Back up, I tell myself.  Relax.  Let love and peace flow through the forehead chakra.  Relax and let the eyelid float upward on its own.  Nothing happens.

         Visualize a heavy stage curtain in front of the third eye, I tell myself.  Activity is taking place on the other side, hidden only by the heavy dark curtain.  Visualize the curtain being raised upward.  Nothing happens.

         Visualize multiple sheer curtains.  One by one raise the curtains so that as each one rises the barrier between my awareness and the activity beyond grows thinner and more transparent.  Nothing happens.

         I am ready to inwardly scream my frustration.  I force myself to back off.  I can not understand this blockage.  How could I lose what once came so easily?  Back away from the frustration, I decide. Think. Something new is creating this blockage. It's just a matter of finding the cause and confronting the conflict. In time I can undo the blockage. In time...

         Each night for over a week I programmed my dreams to find the answer.  I chanted, directing the energy to the third eye. At the end of two weeks I'd made no progress. Perhaps I just needed to give myself time. Maybe the next step required another experience before I could uncover the answer. I waited for some sign or lesson...

Posted on Sunday, October 1, 2006 at 08:24AM by Registered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic | CommentsPost a Comment

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