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Saturday, April 24, 2010: Sexy versus Sensual

          Usually people on a spiritual path don't sit around discussing the fine points of what's sexy or sensual.  The closer that serious and committed spiritual seekers advance toward God or the divine, the more they're encouraged to ignore, restrain, or control all activity below the neck.  That natural urges still arise may be part of reality, but-- for goodness sake, one should never go around discussing it  publically. What quicker way to point out a personal lack of spiritual development?  

            Okay, so I know you're supposed to put God first, and all that stuff.  I'm just not sure who thinks up the rules to enlightenment. Do we end up too detached, unable to see the life in front of us?

            I can say that from a multidimensional viewpoint, the subject of sexy versus sensual presents with some interesting differences.  From a psychic standpoint, one sees two very different auras. Being "sexy" is a control issue. You have to maintain a certain detachment from the relationship so you can direct actions or energy, creating the effect you want in another person, whether they would choose that direction or not.  From the psychic viewpoint, you see the sexy person's aura extending out and around the partner's, grabbing on. Two people playing this game just make it look like a friendly wrestling match.

            Being "sexy" is safe for the game player because it traditionally lessens (or removes) responsibility toward the other person. It tends to lessen or remove the player's emotional vulnerability. Such a safe game. A controlling game. Can it be fun? Of course. Can it be played in a responsible way? Of course. Can you create a karmic problem if the partner is not playing the same game with the same emotional detachment? Definitely, yes.

           Mostly, I consider it an empty game, giving momentary pleasure but never enriching the part of life that matters most. If I do not touch someone deeply and fully, and allow that person to touch me deeply, then what remains of the physical pleasure? It's a fleeting burst, dissolving before it can be savored and appreciated. I'm left with only the bones of something that could have been alive and could have lived in its inner reality throughout the ages. I trivialize encounters that should matter.

          Maybe that is a difference between women and men, or at least between myself and the author who claimed "wasteful sex on the physical plane is better than no sex at all because one can still fool oneself into feeling love".  Yuck!!  People need to come to terms with their inner issues, not fool themselves into feeling loved. How long does the illusion last before emptiness seeps back in, now to a spot hollowed out further by one more lie? It's hard for me to relate to anybody who feels this desperate.

           I prefer sensual: to be sensual involves a deep trust of the other person -- trusting them enough to let down defenses, allowing yourself to focus on all the shades and levels of giving and receiving that you are experiencing. There's a giving that does not push the partner in directions they would not choose. It's a trusting that they will not push you in unwanted directions. Instead it becomes an intimate sharing, a giving and exploring of ways to increase each other's pleasure.

          From a psychic level, sensual auras do not cling or embrace. The auras have a soft edge that slowly melts or blends into each other. I know it's a very old, old memory for me, but somehow I think two psychics, opening enough to each other and to higher dimensions, could create a space or energy whose power could rival divine bliss.  At least it would be fun trying.

Posted on Saturday, April 24, 2010 at 06:38AM by Registered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic | CommentsPost a Comment

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