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Wednesday, January 11, 2012: S.A.D. and Albert Camus

           "In the depths of winter,

                     I finally learned that within me

                                        there lay an invincible summer." Albert Camus


           By now, I am quite convinced that I am afflicted with S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). Our house has north-facing windows and there never seems to be enough light. The lights inside the house are low-level and usually off, as my husband likes to save energy (I swear he was a nocturnal animal in his last lifetime).

           I crave sunlight in winter.  Michigan skies are most commonly filled with stratus clouds. They may vary in their thickness but all seem intent on obscuring a sun that lost its enthusiasm months ago. The house becomes a cave. Despite my husband's and my joint commitment to be energy-efficient, I find myself turning on lights in the middle of the day.

            And I buy flowers. Bright yellows. Deep blues. Rich reds. Anything to catch my eye and remind me of brighter days. Colors to bring back that first thrill of spring's arrival and the anticipation of pale, tender greens bursting forth. Colors to bring back the warmth of summer and the lazy sound of Cicadas filling the hot, humid air. 

             I create sunlight with every meditation and let it fill me, let its intensity shine deep into my shadows, let its warmth spill over me, soaking gently into my skin, or let its brilliance radiate out from within me to light my surroundings. Anything to remind me that the dark is only part of a natural cycle and I will survive the gloom that comes with S.A.D.

            I wonder how people in older days survived these months.

Posted on Wednesday, January 11, 2012 at 10:18AM by Registered CommenterThe Skeptical Mystic | Comments2 Comments

Reader Comments (2)

I know the feeling, but the last time I found my low level depression lasting too long, I found I was deficient in Vitamin D3. It helps but nothing replaces the sun.
January 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGeorganne Spruce
Oh Camus, who knew?

I find myself buying flowers at Costco. My house is north facing too. I'm hugely affected by light and lack of it. I love the idea that you can light yourself up through meditation.
January 20, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKass

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